cant let go

Sophia arrived a week early and she is georgous...well I would say that wouldn't I. Mum and Dad are over the moon and are so thankful everything went well. Mum is only a tiny thing and when she was pregnant she looked just like she had a large pimple, but Sophia is 7.1 lbs. and the pimple is gone!! Hubby and I went up to see them yesterday and just my luck she was asleep the whole time, I felt like rattling the cot but I think that would have been a bit obvious...I will have to wait.
Looks like we are in for a bad night tonight and we have had to batten down the hatches, seems we are getting the March winds and April showers all at once. I feel a bit sad for all my daffodils..there they were fluttering and dancing in the breeze one moment then flat on the deck the next.
Anyway nothing will make me feel too bad at the moment after the arrival of Sophia.

I really did have a good weekend, weather was great so got my pruning, weeding and general tidying up done, it makes me feel good being outside, we have no neighbours and live in the middle of nowhere so all I hear are the birds and it makes me feel good inside. We had two dogs running last night, a second and a first, neither were fancied so got a good price on them, I dont bet...only on our own dogs if we think they have a chance...got home and found I had won 5 euro on the lotto...It wont change my life but it was nice to actually win something....had a lovely card and flowers from my son who went from the humerous to the lovely words card...first time in 35 years, and it bought a tear to my eye. Then why oh why did I end up snivveling like a baby...maybe because for the last 36 years I have been Mum to two sons.

not a lot been happening over here in the emerald isle, so have been making the most of the georgous weather and have been getting out in the garden, it really looks lovely in the spring with all the daffs and other spring bulbs out and all the rest of the shrubs and trees in full bud, I love the spring with the promise of new life and the surprise of all the bulbs that I planted in the autumn coming up all over the place cause I forget where I planted them. I also bought some more bird feeders and we have so many different types fighting over the fat balls, peanuts and seeds....I LOVE THE SPRING.
Hubby decided to redecorate and is in the middle of the sitting room, we havent had much time in the past because of all the dogs, but we are now down to 28 and find we have more time to do the things that have been put on hold for the last 10 years!!
Not long to go before the new edition...Paddys Day actually....same day as hubby which he is chuffed about.
Also been thinking about Steve more than usual... miss him like stink, and always will but often feel him around so have the odd chat....its easy while I am in the garden on my own otherwise if people see me they would probably think I had fallen out of my tree and on the verge of senility

Had a lovely weekend with house guests for a few days, would have felt a bit guilty if I had said "Talk amongst yourselves, cause I am going on my computer" We all went out for a lovely meal, had two beautiful bouquets and of course chocs!! Went down to Dunmore East yesterday for a walk on the beach really did me a power of good and needed the company and small talk. My daughter in law went for her final scan today.....only four weeks to go....really looking forward to the day. She is so slightly built I just wonder where she is keeping it...I was the size of a house and my doctor told me I was built to have children...nice..
Just been through me email and had some really good ones, I have a friend in the U.K. who sends me so many funny ones, I wonder when she does any work...I never could get a job like that.
Hubby brought up the subject about moving to France again, trouble is 18 dogs would have to come too cause I couldnt leave them behind..have to see in a couple of years and would definately have to brush up on my francais
Lastly I would like to thank all of you for your kind birthday wishes I was touched by your thoughtfulness.

At last, I have my body extension back....my computer....it suddenly decided to start doing some stupid things and decided to go on a go slow, and I mean slow...I couldnt download anything, but anyway my computer geek friend....and I mean that in the most nicest way...has fixed everything for me and we are again up and running. I not only get withdrawal symptoms from not being able to access email, type in my blog, but I get so afraid that my brain will start shrivelling if not being used to play literati so will have to make up for lost time....which will please my hubby. On a lighter note my house actually looks a lot cleaner as does the garden and I hadnt forgotten how to use my dyson!!! We had my son and his wife to stay for a couple of days and decided to go out for a meal where as usual I ate too much and suffered with indigestion through the night....I just dont have any will power when it comes to food...I always say that I will either have a starter and main course or main course and desert, but as per usual I end up having all three. Another 5 weeks and we will have our new grandchild...deep down I hope it is a little boy as they are going to have his middle name as Steven, and that makes me so happy. Its my birthday on Saturday and I wonder if Steve will remember like he did last year....I really really hope so.

Strange as it sounds but the more phone calls I get from Steve, the more I feel happier and contented and know that he will always be with me. I will always want to give him a hug but that will have to wait until we are together again.
At least he is happy and trying his best to make me so. I shouldn't wallow in self pity when there are other people who really do need help and are far worse off than me.
I bought a couple of books by Sylvia Browne which give a good insight of life on the other side so I am off for an early night and a good read

well I got through yesterday we toasted Steves life and talked about him and in our hearts we know he is happy and doing what he wants. I had some lovely emails and texts from friends....real friends that remembered and thanks Katie for your thoughts..it was so kind. It still seems like yesterday but I do know that we will get through this even though I still would love to give him a big hug!! It really felt like spring this weekend and I could escape to the garden for a long time where I am happy with my thoughts.
Hubby came up with an idea for the future...lets move to France!! Well we will wait and see

still got this bloody awful cough and cold but so has half of the village!! weird things keep occurring like....our alarm clock wakes us up with a musical rendition but the day before yesterday it went off 20 mins earlier with a beep beep beep and by passed the music, then yesterday it didnt go off at all much to the chagrin of the dogs who were all waiting for their brekkies, and had to wait a while before we actually did wake up, then it was back to normal this morning with the usual musical rendition....ODD!Although it is only a week to Steves anniversary.
I really did have a bad night last night I kept thinking of Steve....and I don't mean that is bad it is just that I wanted to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be all right...and then I thought of the wheelchair, spasms, catheters, tablets, pain, dialysis, and knew he was so much better where he is, as he was and can go where he likes when he likes just so long as every now and again he lets me know he is about.
I am an avid watcher of the sixth sense and just watching it gives me comfort so it must help the people Colin Fry connects. I have a friend who did go to the studio and her grandad came through which completely left her gob smacked.

before a write anything in my blog I just want to thank you Katie so so much for your kind words and lovely thoughts. I really do have some wonderful memories to cherish and I know he is often about what with the phone calls, name on computer etc. He really loved to be here with the dogs where he could chill out, so we will have a toast to him on the 26th and he will probably join us.
Thanks again and I do enjoy your blog....you should write a book.
I am having to write this in my blog cause I am a bit thick when it comes to leaving comments in yours...I seem to be able to do it once and then my brain seems to dry up

really feeling low not just the rotten cold I got from somebody but this time last year I was spending a week with Steve and although he was in hospital he was in good form....little did we know that he would only be with us for another 10 days...that week was so precious and I will always remember it with a lot of love. I know he is with me so much but its just not the same as being able to hug him.