I havent been to my blog for ages as I really think there is something wrong with me. I have just come back from 3 weeks in France, I have a beautiful 6 month grand daughter, loving husband and thoughtful son so why oh why cant I get on with my life? Practically every waking moment I am thinking about Steven and still cant say his name without welling up. I have tried soooooo hard but I find it impossible to accept that I have lost him. I dont tell anyone my thoughts because it is now 20 months, and it feels like yesterday. I know of other people who have lost loved ones and they seem to be able to get over their loss and get on with life so why cant I?